Living Together

Living Together

22 December 2025

Christmas is, above all, a time when people come together: the immediate family, relatives, friends—everyone, really. We live together; we are a society. Or at least, we used to be. For a long time, Christmas seemed to be the only remaining moment when we truly gathered. I noticed this years ago in the Netherlands: simply aligning schedules to be together had become a challenge in itself.

Yesterday, I watched the television program Buitenhof (NPO). The first guest was (street) doctor Michelle van Tongerloo. The conversation focused on the steadily growing problem of homelessness in the Netherlands, especially now that winter is setting in. It illustrates how even the Netherlands—like so many places elsewhere—has increasingly left people to their own fate. There, too, living together is gradually eroding (Van Tongerloo, 2025).

It made me think of reports from Curaçao. About how more and more women are being forced into prostitution out of necessity. About how the food bank, with great difficulty, managed to assemble 250 food packages for families in urgent need. These are not isolated incidents. They are signals—signs of a society in which safety nets are fraying and solidarity is no longer self-evident (NU.cw, 2025; YouTube, 2024).

Now place this alongside other news. Parliament increased representation and advisory expenses by approximately Cg. 150,000. It narrowly avoided raising the holiday allowances of ministers and members of parliament as well. At the same time, according to the newspaper, rent is being squandered: the government is paying nearly 30% more in rent, while a substantial number of government buildings remain vacant (Antilliaans Dagblad, 2025). The contrast is stark.

All of this reflects an individualism that has spiraled into egoism. A development that spreads unchecked, partly because citizens have been worn down. These are the consequences of market thinking, in which the individual is primarily seen as a consumer, the neoliberal ideology that became dominant in the 1980s.

It is precisely in this context that I find Rutger Bregman’s idea of moral ambition to be brilliant. His call to deploy talent, energy, and intelligence not solely for personal gain, but for social value, touches the very core of what we have lost along the way. It offers a necessary counter-narrative to the prevailing market logic. I sincerely hope he succeeds (Bregman, 2024).

Everything became material. Success and happiness are expressed in money. Parents measure their children’s success in financial terms. Meanwhile, the younger generation is the one struggling most within the system that has emerged. Young people, for example, face enormous difficulties in the housing market. Everything is for sale—provided you can afford it.

This system of excessive individualism and egoism has led to loneliness and psychological distress. More and more people lack a sense of direction or belonging. In this light, it also becomes increasingly clear that social media and smartphones tend to isolate rather than connect. It is therefore not surprising that countries such as Australia have placed restrictions on social media, and that more countries are expected to follow. Along the same lines, reports are emerging of people who no longer see AI merely as a tool, but as a partner—even to the point of symbolic marriage.

I doubt I need to convince you that something has gone seriously wrong with the way we live together. And yet, the solution is as simple as it is difficult: see the other person again as a fellow human being. As someone with whom we must live together—not alongside, not opposite, but with one another.

Miguel Goede

References (APA)

Antilliaans Dagblad. (2025). Land gooit met huurgeld. Antilliaans Dagblad.

Bregman, R. (2024). Morele ambitie: Stop met verspillen van je talent en maak werk van je idealen. De Correspondent.

NU.cw. (2025, 22 december). Last-minute donaties helpen honderden gezinnen met voedselpakket van voedselbank. NU.cw.

NPO. (2025). Buitenhof [Televisie-uitzending]. Nederlandse Publieke Omroep. https://npo.nl/start/afspelen/buitenhof_366

Van Tongerloo, M. (2025). Interview over dakloosheid in Nederland, uitgezonden in Buitenhof. NPO.

YouTube. (2024). Reportage over prostitutie op Curaçao [Video]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvW8591w2kA