The Challenges of Modern Romance
May 2, 2024
It's well-known that an increasing number of people are choosing to live their lives as singles. This trend is often referred to as "singlisation". Anemiek Leclaire has been writing a series of articles about this phenomenon in Vrij Nederland. Recently, she discussed the aspects of long-distance relationships and dating.
What emerges is that new romantic relationships often bring chronic and structural uncertainty because, unlike in the past, there is no predictable scenario waiting. Often, an ex is still in the picture. Interestingly, the more blame for the end of the relationship is placed on the ex, the less one seems to have learned.
In many so-called sustainable relationships that follow, a false sense of security is created. This happens, for example, by sparing each other, keeping things secret, or pampering each other. It seems as if you need your own house to return to and recover.
Moreover, there have been remarks about the neoliberal market dynamics at dating sites. Often, these involve short-lived relationships that are very exciting, but can still be enriching as long as the people involved have a healthy social network.
Something is clearly happening, but what exactly, I'm not sure yet. However, it seems that modern romance comes with an entirely new set of challenges.
Miguel Goede